Twlight zoned - The road to recovery

After the "big bang", I was rescued by 3rd Uncle who brings me back home. I was paranoid and constantly on the edge of the feeling that I was under supervision by the authorities. I constantly doing streaming on Belive and FB. A bit siao liao.

I threw a way macbook, Iphone X, passport, Iphone 7 and my favorite Addidas Blue dry fit. + many many more. I was at the airport and brought back a macbook air and Iphone X. The spending spee started.

Rekindle with relative - Penang George Town Wedding dinner

Congrats to my cousin for their happy marriage. This family was from my Penang side Auntie (my father sister). This family and these group of cousin is the only one left that is not residing in Singapore. Acutally, my father side family is very big.

Ah Ma passed away

From the very first day when we are born, our destiny is one less day towards death. The clock ticks seconds by seconds and nothing can be done about it. Bruce Lee once said that "If you love life, don't waster time, for time is what life is made up of".

Recently, one news shocked me. My grandma passed away, and I was really close with them when I was smaller. Ah Gong had pass on since 2004, I remember blogging about it when I was in the army. Changes had changed and people and attachment had changed. Had a different feeling about life and death now compare to 13 years ago. In-between these 13 years I felt Ah Ma had suffered a lot. I still remember when I was at Ah Gong wake, Ah Ma was already wheelchair bound from stroke condition. But then she was still conscious albeit she had loss the abilities to speech. She weeping as she falls from the wheelchair and crawled towards Ah Gong coffin was then a heart wrecking scene till now I couldn't forget. She knew she had lost someone she love and had spent a whole life with. Its so hard for us to see that.

Imagine that event had happened 13 years ago. She was already wheelchair bound from stroke, lower half body was paralyzed and had already lost her ability of speech. She passed on in year 2017. Imagine what kind of life have you need to go through for these 13 years with all these suffering? Can't move and can't take care of yourself, constant need someone to attend to all your needs of feeding, changing and toileting. She can't express her angry, dismay, saddest, and any emotion cause you are already mute from lossing the ability to express from speech. Can you last through so many years of being misunderstood and the inability to express? How are you going to maintain your sane?

Due to my parent marriage status and my dad irresponsibility I had not been paying them visit since 6 years ago not even on New Year. Time passed and Ah Ma had also lost her conscious. She can't recognize people not even kinship. I remember when I visited her in 10 years ago when my parent are still together, although she is bed riden but she still happy to see me, she will hold my hand beside the bed and squeeze my fingers. Although she can't speak I know how much she had missed me over all my other cousin. The kind of passion that I can't put across in words. The moment i felt the whole world had stop and the time was only between me and her. The reason why I was so doted when I was small is because I am the first 男丁 to the family. My father was second boy in the family, but my father born me before the elder brother's give birth to 大孙. In ranking I am second but I was first born into the family as the first grandchild. Also my father was so irresponsible compared to his brother so I was ditched with my grandparent when I was young, only I stayed with my grandparent hence I had the closest kinship with them over my other cousin.

Why I didn't turn up for New Year had to be account back to how my useless father and of course because of my inability to earn and I had took a long way to start earning a descent income. I was so old and I was still single. All my relative had to give me red packet and my parent need not give them back as most of my cousin was married. I am embrassed to even go collect red packet during new year. And my father was always away during new year there are even one year I went alone to Pai Nian and I had to pack my own red packet for my cousin to conceal the fact that my parent was not around to give them red packet. Since then I did not turn up for New Year celebration at their house. 

Birthday celebration in 2007

New Year in year 2008

 As such, I had not been seeing my grandmother for at least 6 years. I went on to become busy with life, and met all my desire, I grew more and more practical and heartless. I didn't even remember who my grandparent was anymore. Life changes people and I was completely a douchbag. Last Dec (5 month before my grandma passing). A very sudden though made me visited my grandma during off peak date, not on New Year to avoid my relatives. The thought was so sudden and random I something wonder why had I make the decision to go see her. And that was the last time I see my grandma. When she see me she cannot recognize me anymore. She didn't hold my finger like she did last time.

Random visit in year 2016

I sometime wonder what force had make me went to visit her in 2016 last year. At least that was the last time she see me. I wonder is it God's define plan. He gave me the chance and allows me to make good our relationship. And he brings me to her, her favorite grandson in front of her death bed before she leaves the world for good. Nonetheless I was very fortunate and grateful that I went to pay her a last visit.

In life nothing last forever. Passion dies, money bring you more desire. Loves is the only thing transcent time. The love that she had gave me unconditionally reminds in my heart. This is the legacy and how you can leave behind a trace of life in this world. I recently said that I was 爱无能, and that I had no purpose in life. I think by not giving love you can't receive love and hence the vacuum of purpose in life. I hope I can trust people and give out more love around me. I want to leave something behind. 

Building cage for fatty bombom

As promised, I will have to deliver the exciting titles. So beginning from that day when we ran away home, two of my besties came to offer their help. Come to think of it, when we starts working, friends are getting lesser which is why the same faces keep reappearing. Well, anyway, that's fatty bombom. If this picture doesn't melt your heart away, I bet nothing can. She was initially shy when we brought her home, thinks she needed some time to acclimatize herself. She didn't drink or eat as much as expected, but she is recovering.

Alright, speaking back to the day after I quarrelled with my father, Ethan and CLP joined me the next morning helping me carry stuff back to my aunt house at Chinatown. After unpacking everything at there, we explored the place a little, I still know my way around as I stayed there when I was very young. We bought some DIY material to cage my pig. Let's see some action from us.

My new view at Chinatown

CLP mothering her with vitamin C water

Ethan measuring dimension

CLP acting 'involved' in front of camera

Woooo, fatty likes to be tickles at her belly.

Finally, fatty pom pom warming up her new house

Updates: CLP had brought fatty pompom back to her house at Woodland. We were so afraid to let her father know about it, but he just happen to came back home while we were setting up the cage for her. I was so afraid that he might be like my father, throwing tantrum at us. Surprisingly, he just asked me what was that and where did we buy at. Whao!!! Now finally, fatty can have a nice place to sleep in.

P/S: Sorry for the boring entries that were abruptly ended. I do not have time to really sit down and write.

Get down on my knee and pray

Warning! The following post contain explicit language, if you are uncomfortable with this please do not read on. And not for people with religion.

You have been warned....

Me rushing my report for interim last night, I slept like 2:30am and I was so exhausted. While I hope 6:30am can come 4 hours later to make up my 8hrs beauty sleep, someone keep shaking me profusely. Not like your girl friend shaking you up in the morning those, but more of like "HEY WAKE UP!!! FIRE DRILL!!!" type. It's my father.

Gracious goat, it was 5am in the morning. How considerate of him. Now once again, he asked for my bike key. I sibei tulan liao,

me: "wa lau, zhe me zhao ni kao peh se mo"

CB Ren: "Jie wo ni motor leh"

me: "bu yao, bu yao, bu yao"

CB Ren: "jie wo leh, wo you zhong yao de shi"

me: "mei you, mei you, mei you"

CB Ren: "Eh, jie wo leh"

me: "Zzzzzzz"

Ambiant Noise: Shi shi sha sha~ Bom Bom Biang Biang~

## ransacking in progress ##

me: "KNNBCCB, chanting in my heart"

## cannot find, go out and bath ##

## continue sleeping ##

Sibei happy sibo, I hid my key in LG KS20 handphone box, the box is in a old school bag, the old school bag kept inside cupboard. Like that also can find, "wao shu ka ni ar" ( hokkien I like you ar)

ps: don't literately mean I like him, meaning that I let him do whatever thing he like ar.

YEAH, now I can have my bike for weekend like finally.

When I wanted to go and start my bike later in the morning. Guess what guess what????

Low petrol?

Wrong...

Wheel lock with pad lock?

Wrong...

The whole fucking bike, I mean whole ar, not part ar. VANISHED!?!?!?
I supposed he duplicated my key.

I got down on my knee, closed my eye, I prayed for him. I pray for all his sin that he did. I pray for all the pain he inflicted on us. I prayed for karma don't summon onto us just because we are one family. I pray to goat to forgive everything he had been doing.

Then I applied 90/10 rules which states that, 10% of your life event is caused by other people which you have no control over it. The other 90% is depending how you react to the sitation. So I decided to 'kan po hong chen'.

btw ever since I started working at Changi, I had been cultivating good habit by reading free give away newspaper like Today and My Paper “Wo Bao”. It provides the channel for me to read latest updates on world issues and also some local journalist who enlightened me with their board perspective. Typically, Today is more for business orientated people and My Paper is more suitable for the young adults. As for me, I am working but at the mean time I am still a student. Therefore I read both.

However, I am utterly disgraced by what they are offering everyday on one particular section.
I am pointing to the section named “my say” somewhere at the middle of the paper. All the unsolicited complain about people smoking outside yellow box, people eating on bus, the toilets not clean, MRT not enough, fare too expensive and the exhausted list goes on and on.

Of course if the complain is logical and seriously need addressing, I okie la. But seem like now these complain kings/queens are focusing on quantity instead quality. All rubbish complains. Like totally disgracing. Life is never fair, haven they realized? Stop complaining and stop poking your nose into everyone’s business. Some more worst, they were remarkably persistent to post their ‘opinion’ into multiple complaining station. Take stomp.com for example where they united as one and start poking each other backside.

Government starting good gracious Singapore campaign, but I think the first step is to knock the idea into these people that over complaining is not gracious at all. Now stopping complaining about our shyness to offer up our seat to elderly, trying to teach people how to be a gracious person, when you aren't one yourself to begin with.

Now go apply the 90/10 rules already.


Today after work, accompany Shan Feng go Vivo there find his wife. Walk abit then eat abit. My N82 still can capture the smoke. Power right?

---

Updated

Hello, human... You might have noticed that my layout had changed a bit. All picture was gone. My photobucket account apparently had been suspended. Maybe due to some violation of terms. Eh, I believe that other than me, a lot of people might get affect because I had been generously hosting your blog picture in my account. I had sent email to photobucket for explanation.

Do not panic! I need you to stay clam with me.

Now I need you to really follow me closely. You have 2 option now by the look of current situation. You can one, wait for my problem to resolve and your picture will appear automatically or you can two, replace the picture with other or host it at your own. Peace out my friend, let get down on our knee and pray to goat that they never deactivate my account. A lot of precious photo inside. My old time photo, my memories....

Updates

Heng ar only temporary only.

Dear garynbc@yahoo.com,

We apologize for the inconvenience. We are currently making maintenance
updates to the site that may temporarily affect access and/or linking images
from your Photobucket account.

We will be restoring connectivity as quickly as possible.

Thank you

Sincerely,

Your Photobucket Support Team

Dad borrow my motor

I seriously took my hat off my father. I was reluctant to admit it thro, but I really have to. He is a bastard.

This 2 months, my father had been borrowing my motor on every weekend. Go chee hong some China girl, I reckoned. The very first time he asked me to lend him, I lent it out of good will. As in, father and son mah, don't have to be so calculative. Subsequently, he made it a habit to borrow it every weekend. Be it steal, bride, nag, cheat or even threatening me, consciously or unconsciously.

1. He say he need it, passed me $20 and borrow over weekend, BRIBED!!

2. Asked me to lend, I rejected then he say only for the night, coming home later, in the end, over the weekend. CHEATED!!

3. Took my key while I am sleeping even after my rejection. STOLE!!!

4. Threaten me not to lend me car next time, if I don't lend him (provided he have one at the first place). THREATENED!!!

5. Nagging at me continuously to lend him, I lent just to shut his chee bye mouth. NAGGED!!!

Today, I totally bei ta da bai le. I plotted a revenge on him. I anticipated that he will be coming in to steal my key, I purposely slot it in 1 out of 7 pant and threw them randomly on the floor. I assume he will not be so boliao to find them in my pants.



Morning I wake up, first thing is to check my pant, its gone. You see I used a full stop instead of exclamation mark because I a bit expected he can find the key. So as usual bath then didy tedy a bit, still following "got motor" timing. You know if taking MRT I had to go out 15 minutes later. Because I am so smart that I am going to use my spare key today!!!

Randomly take one helmet, go downstair start engine. Smoking and looking some pretty OL going to work. Then time to start riding to work, to my ultimate horror, my wheel jammed. CAO CHEE BYE!!! He fucking locked my disc brake, TMD. I jitao slam my helmet to the ground. Breaking the visor and head crust altogether. (Spare spare helmet)

I really take my hat off. Next time, when you want to get marry, never be like my cb dad. He always teaches me moral vlaue I couldn't learn elsewhere. Anyway thanks ar. I fucking love you man.

He sibei bastard

There was an old Chinese way of saying; 家家有本难念的经

Just as I thought that I had a wonderful life ahead, year 2009 wasn't so good for me after all. I heard a lot of broken families story and I really pity all my friend who had to bear with all the hardship since young. I was after all quite contented with my family background.

I had a nice and lovely mother at home. Bearing all expenses for our family without a single ranting at all. Despite my father occasionally played bastard on us. Stole our money and commit adultery and stuff, but as go as me and my mother are concern, we take it silently if no trouble was bring back to our house. But that was not the case now. Something changed.

Recently, my dad was acting all strangely. Kept reminding us not to open the door if someone was to knock on our door. He said it too often a time and of course we could smell something fishy. Giving us the reason was that he didn't wanna pay for TV license so people will come check on our house. But I thought he maybe borrowed money from people and didn't want to pay them back.

So yesterday, someone just came and knock on our door, so urgently and desperately as if he/she wanna break through our door. So father switches off all the TV and lights at home. Leaving me watching my lappie in the complete darkness. Helplessly trying to focus myself back on my show while the person like maybe keep knocking my door for the next 15 minutes.

Later that night, my mother returned home with a note in her hand, written in Chinese. It was meant for my mother and the content was as follows:

"要是这个车牌的主人是你们家主人的话。他现在带走人家的太太，留下丈夫孩子过个快乐年。他还说跟他太太是奉子成婚没感情随时可离婚娶她。那妇女离家还带走一些财物如不交人只好报警。 他现在是骗财骗色还把那女人带到新山也可告他逼良为娼。 请你们晓以大义叫他过年之前一定要友人出来，不然只好报警*抓人。"

Lazy to write out this one.

I don't really want to interfere his affair seriously. This is not the first time already. Third time, as far as I known off. How can he be so bastard to say that he marry because my mother is carrying me. This is so not true loh.

But my mother reaction was to laugh it off. She just read the notes and then put it on the table. I will never know if she is pretending to be not concern about my father or she had already given up on my father. For me, I had already given up on him. Initially, I really want my mother to divorce him. But I always don't understand why my mother never ask for a divorce. I felt that she no longer love him.

But during the night, I thought that she might not want to spent her rest of her life staying as a widow. It is quite pity for her to stay at home alone when next time I need to go out and work. So I reckon that maybe this is the reason for her not to think about divorce.

Today I went to return tai shui and came across this note to describe my fate for year 2009. They warned me not to run away from home which will affect my studies. Hmmm, maybe he refering to my family problem.

But new year's eve we still had our reunion dinner at IMM. Totally crap, the food suck because basically they are selling high class "zi cha". All the fried rice and hokkien mee on the menu, nothing else. So sian. They just basically act blur all the way. All of us didn't bring out the topic on my father adultery. He must have see the paper on the table this morning. He knew that we had put the note there, so basically no interrogation from my mother nor any confession from my father. I also join in the acting.



We "enjoyed" the dinner. So 有家的感觉。

Recently, my 4th uncle called me telling me that my father go and borrow money from my 4th auntie. I wasn't surprised and I also don't wish to know what is he up to. So I never care less.

Today my 4th auntie called me and brag about my father. I felt sorry for her but at the same time, I laughed at her stupidity for lending it to my father. She should know better than me. If me and my mother can give up on my father, I don't see why she can believe my father that he is going oversea to do business. They should have known that my father is the infamous con-man in our family tree. Blame it on your greed.

I am not disappointed with my father, at least he is smart but in the wrong way. He had the courage to do all these and I don't have. He has the sweet talk look and and persuade other and I don't have. So what to do. I just don't care less.

Shao Mu

Today morning went to Mandai to 'shao mu'.. And I am so sad when I saw my grandfather photo. Hai.. Anyway, I keep forgeting my 'address'. So now I going to remind myself that it is block B. 222 for my grandma and 333 for my grandfather. If you are wondering what are all these number, they are just the unit number.. Something like that.

It fucking crowded and we had to force to park on double yellow line. Father say that the policemen will not fine us on this day.

It's very long que, you cannot see its end

After that I went home to prepare myself as I am meeting my beloved sis at bugis.

In case anyone is not sure about her.. She is Lorjean, was Jian ming ex gf. I was very close to her few years back and we chiong together almost twice a week for a few months. That's where we bonded so close and sis and bro.

She once hate ppl to look at her IC. Now after the make over photo shoot on her new IC, she proudly show it to me.

We went to bugis street behind, where my favourite durian store there a chill.. With some beer to go with the durian.. Siok.. But I felt sinful eat those durian as I discover that it very fatty and I am still sick from sore throat.

It super nice, Lorjean agrees...

We went to "crab shack" for dinner. Somewhere along Upper thomson road and near Liquid kitchen.

We ordered the crab bake rice. and some other finger food. total cost only $15 plus.

So today story is something like that. Tmr start school liao. Finally :)

IAC topic on family lineage

Today we will told to do a online discussion. I feel like carry on to the story so i paste it in here. those who are interested and read about it..

Q1. Watch the segments on Family Types, Matrilineal Lineage and Family Lineage. What is your family type? What is your family lineage?

I belong to nuclear family and I am from patrilineal lineage.

Q2. Based on the segment on Family Genogram, give a brief description of your family history (tracing from your grandparents, to you).

My father which is 3rd son of my grandfather. I have a total of 8 uncles and aunties. One uncle and one aunty is elder than my father, and because I am the first male grandchildren, I was given a lot of care and attention.

My grandfather came from China and meet my grandmother in Malaysia. They got married to each other somehow. All my uncles and aunties was borned in Malaysia. After which they were all sent to SIngapore to study by my grandfather. Only my father and elder aunty stay at Malaysia because they are too naughty and repelling. So all my other uncles and aunties came to Singapore to study English school, and my father was studying Chinese school in Malaysia. (as my father is chinese educated he find it hard to earn a lot due to the inability to speak English)

My father came over to Singapore himself when he was 24 and worked as a car technician. He meets my mother who was then a sale promotor. They got marry very soon and the I was born. (my father is very street-smart and my mother is very hard working, that why i can live a comfortable live now)


Q3. Are you for OR against Cohabilitation? What are the reasons behind your stand? Elaborate your answer.

I am not againist cohabitation. Seriously, I felt that couple needs to spend time together and know each other living habit. Some people can quarrel over parnter's living habit and then divore because of that. I feel that its perfectly fine if both parties agree to it and they need to have mutual respect. Marriage to me only is a piece of paper to protect both party. If two person really love each other, they can just stay together without the need to get married.

Q4. In your opinion, what are some of the family issues confronting Singapore families today? Elaborate your answer.

Divorce rate in Singapore is increasing. The marriage cert become more and more useless. So what if they get married? They can just divorce as and when they like. Just go through a 3 year seperation and that's it. Another reason is that Singaporean is getting more and more open minded. Young couple experience their first sex experience average at 19 years old. So there will be a higher tredency that this immature youth will get married because of shotgun cases. Later they will find that they are too young to commit to each other and divorce in the later stage.

This will oso arise to more and more single parent cases. So when these single father or mother can to remarry again, the children will have a step-parent. As there are survey saying that step-parent often neglect the other party children when they start a new family with the divorcee.

Continue on my story...

I feel that my father is very smart as even thought he is from chinese school. He is the first to get to own a company and own a car before all my uncle and aunty.

my mother work so hard for us. she start working when she was 19. all the way till now. she is having a low pay like $900 every month and she worked 24/7. she never break even if it is holiday. after my popo passed away, she has to take care her elder sister who is a bit mentally ill. my mother need to support her and me as well. she everyday only eat bread and she is very thrifty but generous toward my needs.. she is really someone some great loh..

Pai pai ah gong

today leh.. i went to mandai there to "shao mu".. clean up ah gong 'mu'.. b4 that father, gu gu and me we go buy those joss stick lah, "hell money" lah and blar blar blar.. then after which we set off the the place liao.. there not too much ppl compare to last time i went there. we sreach for a while b4 we found ah gong.. my father clean the place and pour coffee and put a 'bao' for ah gong to eat. i standing there and start thinking.. if we burn all those thing will ah gong really get those money?? i think maybe bah.. then i starts to imgine that ah gong is there looking at us and miss us a lot. we take turn to talk to ah gong. i waited patienly for my turn.. while i was talking to ah gong half way i relise i was speaking chinese and english with ah gong.. he must be angry i think then i quickly tok in hokkien. i never say a lot much just tell him not to miss me and ask him to take good care of himself and look over me.. i felt crying but i dont want to do it in front of my father... i am thinking that if ah gong really watching over me and see i had been doing all this wrong thing then he must be very sad with me.. cos he doted on me the most... i really miss him..