主观意识 is it really that bad?

Last post I shared on his one incident. Today incident happens like this: 我们恋爱吧 第五季Relationship S5】EP06上 | 梁潇直球进攻，正装晚宴墨墨飙泪落跑！

Omg, the xiao sun super same like me. 

• Able to withstand very uncomfortable suitation.
• Have something to persist on, I am who I am.
• Doesn't afraid to 负天下人.  

However, 老王说他的主观意识很强。Today I come across this word so I google what does it mean and weather the word applies to me or not. Then I realise that I am also suitable to use this word. Let see what is the defination。 (Subjective consciousness) 

主观意识本身就是人自己的思想，意思就是，没有外界的影响下产生的意识。生活中我们的认知、感觉其实都是主观的。那么我们看到的世界就全是主观的。

如：如果你讨厌一个人，那他做什么你都会觉得他很差劲，而你喜欢一个人，他做什么你都觉得很赞。这种喜欢和讨厌的感觉是我们自己的感受，但一个人的品质差劲与否，与我们主观意识没有关系。那么，如果自己是个悲观主义者，看到世界就是悲观的，什么事情都透露着悲伤的气息。

一般情况下这句话并不是用来夸人的，而是说这个人办事太固执，不尊重现实，脱离现实。所以这句话并不是好话，同时这句话又有警醒作用。

How can I better manage my subjective consciousness so that I can blend in with others? 

Maybe every time when someone gives an opinion or advise, rather than being dismissing them quickly. I should not be looking at their "HOW" level. I should go deeper and listen to their "WHY". Analysis is it something constructive? I think first is to listen more and talk lesser. Can we agree that we can have different opinion and view? 

Or I can do more journaling as I think writing gives me a chance to reflect on the topic of disagreement and give me time to see and reflect the mistakes. If I later realise that I might be wrong, then I should take actions to change or let the person if I have the chance.

I think watching variety show and learn what mistake people did. And also reinforce my own world view. You see I sided with Xiao Sun right. End of the last espidoes, 老王end up being a very good friend with 小孙. You see, people with 主观意识 end up over time will have people like them too.

Haha. 

I convinced myself that I am still like to make others uncomfortable.

Oh my god. Was watching 我们恋爱吧 第五季Relationship S5】EP02上 | 天选单独约会！ and I found how irrigating I was before. It reminds me about when I was in my previous job, my arrogance and disrespectful to my co workers and bosses.

So the boy "Xiao Sun" went on a blind date and turn out that the girl he met was not the one that he like in the house. Therefore, being disappointed, he instantly gave the girl "王安琪“ a black face, furthermore he directly tell her that he don't mind that both of them just keep quiet for the whole ride. Indeed, from the train journey all the way till dinner, he just ignored her and tell her that he is just like this, if he needs to be comfortable, he needs to make other uncomfortable. During the whole trip, the girl handles him carefully and tactfully. Very high EQ.

Now that I see this kind of men, Xiao Sun a sigma male and probably an avoidance character. Although I can empathy with him and agree with him on all his point. In fact I am the kind of person that can made people really really uncomfortable. But when I see it from top down view, he can turn out to be childish and immuture. 

做自己就会让别人不舒服，而让人家舒服就不能做自己

All the host are speaking ill of him. About him being very low EQ and not respectful to the date. I find it quite er xin too when watching on the show.

But I can feel him. I can understand him. He just simply don't care about how the viewer see his reaction. He doesn't care about the date, the crew, the host and even the audience. He is just thinking about what he wants in life. Okie. end up I still support him after ranting out his shortcoming.

I think you really don't have to care so much about how people look at you. Even people see you as low EQ, its just we have the choice to choose how we want. More time to know him, 王安琪 will know he is not directed at her. Just his character is like that.

Sometime I question if I really have EQ or not. I made many people uncomfortable at workplace before I just wanna persist on my own opinion. Can say that I am very self centred and don’t adhere to social fabric. No manners and being very respectful to people around me. Problem is I really don’t think I care a bit about the people I don’t care about. But I still like me as a person. I like having these boundaries and people can keep a distance with me. I don’t need people to agree or like me at all :)

Haiz. Guess I am still so 难搞

Tribute to "Monday Couple" on Running Man

Running man had been a favour variety show in Korean for almost 7 years but I only start watching them when their program had been cancelled. It was just a very random opportunity that make me watch running man and not because their news on cancellation.

Running man was first aired on July 2010 and I only happen to watch them in April 2017. And like most of the fan out there I was so 100% behind the famous Monday Couple. Kang Gary and Song Ji Hyo but they stories was not all cherry merry.

Below I shared a short 13 minutes on how these couple love developed in the first few episodes where Gary was the aggressor and express his love to Ji Hyo relentlessly till half way 100+ episodes where their on screen relationship was brought to a halt where Ji Hyo dated her company CEO in her real life. Things became awkward between them on running man.

Of course Ji Hyo and her CEO relationship was not long last and they soon become close again. "I lives in Kang Gary" - Song Ji Hyo and they are always for each other on certain Mondays. And you can see that Gary was really all out to take care of Ji Hyo in all the small little things, so sweet.

However, through all the 300+ episodes Ji Hyo had been on a pulling and pushing and on some occasion she betrayed Gary be it because of game choice, tearing of name tag and even choose some other male celebrity on other occasion. Some thing on the show Gary show his fatigue and jealousy towards Ji Hyo in the nearing 300 episodes. 

Ultimately, 300+ episodes onwards the Monday Couples appearance on the show is very little and you can see that their loveline is obliviously becoming less of the emphasis. Then the breaking point of the show start where Gary suddenly quit the show and the reason was to focus on his music career and his time can not commit to running man.

No one in running man can convince Gary to stay and they realise the best way to encourage their 7 years of friendship is to let Gary do whatever he felt was the right thing to do. Part of me felt that Gary's decision to quit got something to do with Ji Hyo. I understand the burden of celebrities too, sometime they can't do things that are with conflict of interest to their career. Gary on the other hand I think he isn't care much because he had already been successful in his music career.

But even when Gary quit his show on running man, the producer still make some mission that involve going to Gary personal studio and I think this had been a hinder for Gary to concentrate and forget his tie with the rest of the members. When Ji Hyo visit him in his studio Gary still wants to be with Ji Hyo and ask if she is interested in being Monday Couple all over again but of course Ji Hyo rejected his proposal and I think it really hurt his feeling and the song from Gary - The girl who can't break up, the boy who can't leave was sang by them again in the studio.

Subsequently, Kang Gary went missing oversea and broke off with his duet partner Leessang and announced that he suddenly got married with a non celebrity lady and the lady was not know to any of his good friend and even his company didn't know of this lady existence. I highly doubt there is this "wife" exist. He wants to cut his tie with all the 7 years of pain and not be remember of all these 7 year with Ji Hyo (this is my personal opinion). He even changed his number and he is currently oversea and no one from running man is able to reach him.

After this happened the running man went into a crisis of low viewership after suddenly the show got cut becuase Ji hyo and Sparta didn't got renew on season 2 running man. My take for Gary suddenly disappear and can't be reached is because he really love Ji Hyo and wants to have a proper relationship with her, but her respond was always not clear. Being close to him but always didn't really serious about it. Gary must be tired and decided that he can't carry on like this, he would want to put his music career as priority again. But being in Korean the producer will keep coming over or to invite him back to the show as guest again and again. This make him unable to concentrate on this music and he also have a hard time forgetting Ji Hyo. He went oversea and hide and even announce a fake marriage and subsequently changed his number and become unreachable. This is my personal opinion of course and everything is speculated by me.

Nonetheless I still support the couple and I support Gary hope he can have a nice life in front of him. Now everything will become the past and the Monday Couple will never come back again I know. This is some of the songs that are always played on running for all the fans that like running man, Monday couple and Kang Gary.

This was the beginning where Gary compose the lyric for Ji Hyo - Leessang Blues

The girl who can't break up, the boy who can't leave - Leessang, it implys that Gary is always the one who can't leave and Ji Hyo will never break up with him

Rememberance - Leessang, the first part there is "Gally Gally", is that Ji Hyo voice?



Turn off the TV - Leessang




You are the answer to a guy like me - Leessang



No matter how I think about it - Sweet Sorrow, this is Asia Prince Lee Kwang Soo theme song on running man, btw he is also my favour person over the monday couple

In running man my top favour is Lee Kwang Soo, he is ranked above the Monday Couple, cause he is a great entertainer and also a very gentleman and hardworking person. Although he is always projected as the giraffe and he is always timid and stupid in the show. But he happen to capture the asian fan by storm :) Continue support running man!!

Are they for real. It looks so easy.

Take a look at Richard, not being mean or anything, but kissing a girl like this. You must be kidding. Anyway, Richard happens to be my favorite geek for "Beauty and the Geek" Season 1. Oh, just so happen that I love Mindi too :) Her beauty isn't just skin deep, beyond her skin she is quite intellectual and composed. Is this world fair? Is smart and beautiful even legal together?

I am totally hook onto reality TV. Those who know me, knew. Survivor, Hell Kitchen, Amazing Race, Fear Factor, Beauty and the Geek. I mean my point is I am really into reality TV. So what so compelling for me to RTV. Okie. Just like what you can't get in your own reality, you would like to see others have it in their reality. So that it reminds us, life is not so damn hopeless. When I can point my finger at someone and say: "See, Richard that freak gets to make out with Mindi. So why not me?"

These little hopes keep life burning.