I think I am not going to meet any girl anytime soon in real life. It has been 3 years and I had not been attracting any local delicacy at all. Not a single one. I do agree I am not attractive and if I am to meet someone like myself, I will not be considered myself as any dating material.
So sad but true. Maybe I should get a online girlfriend. But you know what, I tried skout, badoo, beetalk, lacanto, how about we... But you know it is like throwing out resume for job interview. I will never get shortlisted. I couldn't even get a proper rational responds from our female counter parts.
Why is love not coming to me. I read somewhere saying that you can only attract love when you give love. I stopped loving long ago. I forgot how is it to actual love somebody. I couldn't love. I could have love.
Speaking for love. Now I had enlightened myself not so long ago. Love is actually different from what we thought love is. Love to me is you do not want to see the person but you will miss them when they didn't message you when they normally do. Love is giving everything you have to them not even seeking for any return of investment. Love is you can fart in their face. Who could I possibility do all this to? My mum. Hence I love my mum.
When you see a pretty girl whom swept you off ur feet. You want to see her everyday. Your heart race when you see her. You crave intimacy and you desire their every thing touch. You protest like they are your little toy and you do not want to share her with anyone, depriving her of freedom even with friends. This is no love. They are your desires. Your libidos.
Love is complicated. And I loss touch to love. Now I don't even know what I am caring about. It is a family, a girl? A hole and companion or what. I am so fucked. My ethic, beliefs and mentality is so messed up.
Scarlett Johansson, my dream girl. Just like Carl junior said "It is more than just a piece of meat"
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